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Tuesday, October 23, 2012


This post is kinda hard for me to write I don't really know why it bothers me so much but it really does.  I hate to admit I hurt all the time.  I guess its kinda like when people ask ``How are you`` and everyone always says oh fine.  I do too and maybe because most people are just being polite when they ask, they don't want to hear bad stuff.

I never really thought of it much until a couple weeks ago a friend says to me (after hanging around all day) soooo how much pain are you really in.  Well I didn't even know what to say.  I don't complain much cause its just always there and so its just kinda normal to me and I don't think about it.  

But when I told her my knee always hurts, has since high school.  I sprained it and even though the doctors now say that has nothing to do with it, I kinda wonder.  It does have a diagnosis of femoral patella syndrome, which as far as I can understand my kneecap is not straight.  I went to physio for a while and it kinda helped and she gave me a bunch of exersizes to do and mostly said it will never go away.  

And then my hip, which she knew about.  And is really not my hip, its where my pelvis joins my spine.  Sacro-illiac joint I think.  And the ligaments there are too loose so they don't hold the joint right and it slips a little.  I got explained its like holding your fists knuckles together and move one joint out.  Like peaks and valleys and they just move.  I go to the chiropractor regularly and he fixes it, but again no real cure until I get old and they stiffen up and then I probly wont be able to bend over.  Nothing I can do makes them stay or move, sometimes I just sit down and feel it.  But now I know what it feels like in and when its out and so I can go get it fixed sooner.  Which I think helps the muscles retain memory of how it should be.

And now I got a pair of back on track long johns I have been wearing for the last couple days, I don't notice in super improvement, but I think it is just increased blood flow which should help inflammation  and the long johns should get both my knee and hip so I am testing them out.

And my back.  Mostly my upper back and right where the back and neck join.  Nothing spectacular wrong there, just sore and I guess from x-rays I have a really straight back and not very much the s - curve so it makes it worse.  That I go to the chiro and also a massage therapy guy works on me.  I just try to keep it half decent.  But since I have gotten a different pillow it is much improved.

Mostly that is all.  I sometimes wonder if I am falling apart or if I am just getting old and not admitting it.  Either that or I have something else serious going on, but I don't know what I can do about that.   But I guess I will just keep moving on and trying to find better ways to deal with this pain.


Cheyenne said...

Hi Crystal, wow!.....you really are in a mess! Perhaps, just perhaps, I can empathise?

I broke my back in two places in 2005, not a horse, a silly car wreck.
Anyway, oh, and by the way I`m not competing!....I understand pain. On top of that, broken legs, fractured both shoulders, and coccyx, now they cause me bother, some days and sometimes nights, I dont sleep, so I take an anti inflammatory. It helps, but nothing touches it. So I really do feel for you. But hey!..What dont kill ya, makes ya stronger, thats if it dont wear you out first!!
So take it easy, think positive, and be cool.

Country Gal said...

Try going to a rheumatologist it sounds like you have a form of Fibromyalgia or a form of Arthritis ! I ache from head to toe all the time had for years then was finally diagnosed with Muscular Rheumatoid Arthritis and B12 anemia ! I ache worse when its cold and or damp ! I have to stay warm on chilly rainy days and in the cold winters or I can move. I take meds for it all it dulls the pain but doesn't take it away just makes it liveable ! I do hope you get a diagnoses soon so that way you know and can hopefully treat it ! Take care !

Shirley said...

I'm pretty sure a lot of us can relate to this post. I too am battling chronic pain; my lower back for the last 12 years gives me constant pain (no fluid in my discs- bone on bone) and for the last couple of years a torn rotator cuff. Grin and bear it is just what we learn to do. Chiro won't help me, and I don't take pain meds. My oils help a lot, but they can't fix the problem. So I sympathize with you, and kudos for just doing the best you can and not letting it interfere with doing the things you love.

Paint Girl said...

Yep, I'm in the same boat. Pain in knees, back, neck and occasionally feet. It is pretty much chronic. I also don't take pain pills, I go to the Chiro every couple weeks, do massage thereapy 1-3 times a month and it helps for a couple days, then back to pain. It's worse in the winter when it's much colder. Something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. All we can do is manage the pain... in whatever way we can.
So I totally know what you are going through. And you are like me, gotta keep going on no matter how bad it gets!! Hang in there!

fernvalley01 said...

Sweetie! I hear you , and its not wrong to vent about it now and then , most folks you talk to when asked will say "oh I am fine" when in reality , fine is a long way from where we are. You are active and trying , moving as much as you can and riding, so cut yourself a little slack now and then and howl! I do , and often! trying a new protocol for my Lupus and fibro here, hoping it will work, but as long as we are trying we are not failing! Sending a warm healing hug

lisa said...

As you can see you are not alone, I don't have lots of pain during the day but I always have to be careful with my back and I go to the Chiro when needed and now of course the rotator cuff that I had repaired is still healing and don't sleep much at night, but I really can't remember a night that I have slept all night through, I have always tossed and turned at night for as long as I can remember, I have tried a new bed, new pillows and nothing seems to work, so I sleep and toss and turn. So, as you can see you aren't alone, we just grin and bare it and do the best we all can. Feel free to vent, we don't mind.

cindy said...

Boy oh boy, we are all just a bunch of hurtin folks aren't we? For me it is my neck, and upper back across my shoulder blades. Much of mine is caused from my job which has me in front of a computer all day. Then there is this other issue. I get achy like flu sypmptoms, almost every afternoon. They go away by morning, but then hit again by afternoon. I went to a doctor and she decided I was depressed and gave me a script for antidepressants. No blood work, no nothing, just "here take a pill. Isn't that why you are here?" Needless to say I did not go back to here again. I tried to ignore it for a long time, I researched on line and convinced myself that I have cancer and aids and fibro, and RA. Finally I found a womans website and a forum. I found that there are a gazillion women out there with the same thing and it is caused from low estrogen. So now I take supplements. It helps some, not always, but more than often than not.
I have come to the conclusion that this is why old people of earlier generations tend to be so grouchy. They are/were in constant pain. Only back then there was less research and less help. I am determined not to become the grouchy old lady that lived down the road from me as a child. I use massage therapy as often as I can afford. I don't care for pills but if I am in enough pain I will use them and not feel guilty. I have come to beleive that it is ok to manage pain as long as I keep it in moderation.
I have horses and dogs and family that count on me to be there for them. So that is what we do, we manage and move on.
It is nice to know that sop many of us are going through the same thing.

Rising Rainbow said...

Sounds like pain is messing with most of us. Sorry to hear it's messing with you. Hang in there.